Try to Be Me

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points:
Persona 2/Persona 4 crossover (Broken Hero)
Chapter Summary: Time for a Shadow to reappear.
Word Count: 860
Rating: Teen
Warnings: mostly Tatsuya's depression
 

        The cold worry in Jun’s heart continues to grow throughout the day as there’s still no trace of Tatsuya. By the time he meets Amagi-chan in the small room with the TV, nervously anticipating what feels like a dreaded inevitability, all of his nerves are frayed. Hanamura-kun had been skeptical, as there’d been no new silhouette the previous night and Teddie-kun had sensed no one within the TV World, but it wasn’t like Tatsuya to skip out on a duty, he was nowhere to be found, and while Jun hadn’t seen signs of a struggle, the fact that someone went through the trouble of trying to erase evidence made him suspect foul play.
        He insists on making them both a cup of tea, to which she smiles faintly. She accepts, though, sipping delicately, which he mirrors gently.
        And then, when the screen flickers on, it’s clear, not following the pattern. No warning signs announced this particular abduction. That, however, is the least of Jun’s concerns.
        The Shadow’s eyes are red, unlike the children’s, just as they had been all those years ago, though this sneering version of him has only grown more handsome, just as Tatsu-chan himself, and all the more repulsive in that sneering certainty. He looks…roughed up, though, with a split lip, bruising on his neck, and marks on his wrists as if he’d been tied up. Even the TV World glasses that usually make him look more distinguished are crooked. That’s…abnormal. Is he mimicking Tatsuya’s own condition…or mocking it?
        He appears to be standing in Sumaru Prison, in the same place Lisa had, all those years ago, three other shadowy figures in the background, standing equidistant apart, facing away.  He smirks through the blood, however, staring, it feels, straight into Jun’s soul. He’s holding a phone identical to the one back in his room, dialing a number and then holding it up to his ear. “Joker, Joker, please come here. Oh, but what’s this?” he gasps in vicious delight. “My, my, Tatsuya Suou has no ideals to strive for. Rumor has it that when Joker finally appears, he’ll be turned into a shadowman and fade from reality. But it’s for the best, I’m sure. That ideal energy can be used by those with desires of their own, and it’s best to put those who cannot realize their dreams out of their misery. He’s already served his purpose as the key unlocking the world’s future. Let him rot in the past where he belongs, since he’s already so determined to live there.”
        The transmission ends abruptly. Jun only realizes his hands are trembling when the teacup falls out of them, shattering on the table. He apologizes even as his thoughts race, but Amagi-chan easily waves off his apologies, moving to clean it up herself.
        Another difference from the previous transmissions, he thinks, dazed, as if the world is muffled and far away. Those had been a show, the Shadow attempting to display its grievances to the entire town. In contrast, this display had been more private, aimed specifically at Jun, who he’d known would be watching. True, perhaps others might be able to piece out some of what was said, but the specific terms were those known to only a few.
        Tatsuya had been angry at anyone who wanted to bring up Jun’s past as the Joker as a way to attack him, though privately Kashihara considered it slightly more in the way of penitence than anything. However, it hadn’t been the first time Tatsuya’s Shadow had tried to use him as Tatsu-chan’s weakness. Back then, he’d tried to get the dragon to admit he hated Jun—which would not have been surprising—but Tatsuya had refused, stating that he would have done the same. Jun had always doubted the truth of the statement, if only because it was so unbelievable, but he’d never expressed such to Tatsuya.
        It was also notably the only thing his dragon had denied. Faced with claims that he was a directionless puppet whose life had no meaning, Tatsu-chan had admitted that to be true. The thought that that was the same, even after all this time, ached in a sharp way that cut through the fog of shock clouding his mind.
        “That had special meaning for you, didn’t it?” Amagi-chan asks. The insightful way she observes reminds Jun, again, of himself, specifically.
        “We should discuss it tomorrow,” he suggests. He only wishes to tell this story once. He hadn’t planned on mentioning any of this to the children, because them knowing of his past as the Joker would accomplish nothing, but if it’s going to be used against them, he wants them at least to make the decision on their own before he leads them into battle, and secrets in that world of fog could quite literally kill them. He’ll attempt to tell them all he can, but some of the aspects, like whatever trouble has been plaguing Tatsu-chan’s heart these long years, even he doesn’t know. If they won’t follow, and he would not blame them if that were the case, he’ll just have to call Katsuya and ask for backup.