madimpossibledreamer

Main Points:
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: Everything starts going wrong.
Word Count: 1018
Rating: Teen (Giorno-style violence)
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS.

          “Graham, get our guests and the scientists to safety—all but the woman; we don’t know if it’s touch-contagious,” at which point she looks outraged and probably scared. “I’ll try to do what I can, or at least seal off the research wing,” the lawyer orders.
          That’s probably not good—or maybe, like Andrew, this guy is better in a crisis than when interacting with people. Still, he’s suddenly both competent and aware and it might be a good thing they’re splitting up, unless his earlier reactions were a bluff to put them at ease, maybe get them to reveal something.
          “Follow me,” the London guard whose name they now know to be Graham tells them. The two remaining scientists do so without question, probably part of their training.
          ‘Guanciale’ grunts, but if it had been meant as a warning, they already knew. They’ve lost control of the situation, and if they do end up following the guard, who knows where they’ll end up, or whether they’ll be able to get out when they get there…
          There’s a shuddering sound in the ceiling a normal human probably wouldn’t have heard, and she instantly tackles ‘Capperi’. It’s lucky that her reflexes are as fast as they are, because she moves just in time. One of the pipes in the ceiling bursts, letting out a torrent of water that carries them down the hall. ‘Guanciale’, the guard, and the scientists aren’t with them. Buffy blinks as she sees an eyeball float past her and stifles hysterical laughter. The absurd thought popped into her head that someone needed to ‘keep an eye on things’. She fights off the sudden wish for Xander, Johan, whatever he’s calling himself, to have been here, to make that joke. Maybe Dawn—the two always shared a sense of humor, after all, or maybe that’d been her sister trying to get her crush to notice her. Buffy herself would only voice that thought if she could get Giles to clean his glasses because of it… Clearly she’s a little bit in shock. She needs to concentrate on the important things—such as, for example, the sudden suspicion that had caused the argument between the two guards. This might, in fact, be proof that the spell had been Wolfram & Hart’s, but why would they use it on their own? What did they gain by such an action? If the source had really been the chalice, then how was it acting now? And if it hadn’t been that stupid chalice, why would Giles bother lying to her about it? He could’ve just said he hadn’t found the source yet, and had an easier lie to believe? Or perhaps, since its domain seems to be deception, perhaps the spell had managed to pull one even over such an expert on magic as her ex-Watcher? She’s fairly certain she’s not wrong, now that she knows what she’s looking for. The sudden paranoia is a little obvious of a tell, once you’re finally looking for it.
          And then she sees a ghostly figure covering ‘Capperi’s’ skin, even as he clings to a doorway. “I would generally dislike using my power in such an environment but I can think of no other way to discuss the situation with some possibility of remaining unheard. We must retrieve dear ‘Guanciale’ or we will never retrieve our faces.”
          Buffy nods a little, treading water as best she can, to indicate she’s heard and understood. The fact that she could vaguely see Stands without having one herself is a concept that Kakyoin found fascinating, though as far as she knows no one’s asked the other Slayers if they’ve experienced that too. It’s been really busy.
          And then ‘Capperi’ smiles faintly at her. “It is said that dolphins commonly save drowning victims. If our luck holds, the same will prove to be the case now.” He finishes speaking through his Stand and has it disappear—but not before turning the doorway into a dolphin. It chirps at him and propels itself with a powerful tail-flip back further into the corridor.
          Unfortunately, when it returns, it’s bringing the guard. It chirps and then leaves again, presumably to get the others. ‘Capperi’ glances at him dismissively and sighs. Then he reaches out and touches the man’s shoe as he tries to scramble upright, and he screams and falls.
          “Perhaps your American colleague relayed this sentiment from the pre-revolutionary American days: ‘don’t tread on me’.” ‘Struffoli’ glances down and sees that the shoe had turned into a coral-like organism, just as he’d attempted to stand. She glances over at ‘Capperi’ and raises one perfectly sculpted eyebrow (sure, ‘Stroffoli’ was prettier, but like a Barbie; she preferred being herself though this wasn’t bad to try out for the time being). He smiles just slightly. “Toxopneustes pileolus. Also known as the Flower Urchin, a rather beautiful name for a rather terrifying creature. The toxins cause comas and the formation of clots. Very painful, or so I’m told, but presuming he gets the correct treatment, he will live.” The sea urchin slowly turns back into a shoe.
          “You are terrifying,” she tells him, and casually reaches over to choke the curious scientist into unconsciousness rather than hitting him on the head (apparently head injuries can be a whole lot worse for normal humans without the Slayer healing, who knew). Usually, she’d be a little more conflicted about attacking a person who is, ostensibly, human, even if they are working for a firm like Wolfram & Hart. She still has some rage about what they’d tricked Angel into, of course, and if she thinks about it she’s saving this guy from an attack by a very venomous sea creature, so when thought about along those lines, really, she’s doing him a favor.
          That gets a definite grin in return. “Thank you for your kind words. I believe the same could be said about you.”
          Finally, finally, the dolphin returns with the correct person, and both ‘Capperi’ and ‘Struffoli’ turn to ‘Guanciale’.
          It’s ‘Struffoli’ who voices what they’re both thinking. “Took you long enough.”