madimpossibledreamer | Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 2

Now that I know the checkpoint is here, I’m just going to wallrun. Oh. That worked.

…Okay, that looked cool. I….I jumped backwards. That looked so cool. I’m just going to sit here and play with that for a bit. ‘cause I am a complete dork. That looked so cool! It’d be really awesome if I could do that. I can’t, but that’d be so cool. Come on, you were doing it so well. There we go. (It’s actually the one where he flips backwards. It looks cooler than it sounds.)

Um, I’m guessing you can’t get back up there. …Put your sword away, and…stop hitting the rock. Really, Prince? Really? /sigh

I’m guessing I actually have to fight these people. But I can’t change—oh. Hi.

Not fair, you’ve got my back to a wall. (Little did I know that’s not a problem…but you only figure that out later in the game.)

If only I was this good at actually remembering to—backflip, why? If only I was this good at actually, like, y’know, remembering to dodge things in Devil May Cry. I’d do so much better. (I’ve gotten to Cerberus, the Noob Stomper or whatever his title actually is. I didn’t actually remember the end of the level was him and kind of panicked. Though, as mentioned, I still had a lot of fun in the game even getting my butt beat.)

Hey, look, boxes! I don’t think actually breaking boxes actually does anything, but, y’know, it might. Y’never know. …Why was that candelabrum made of wood? I don’t understand. Mysteries. Mysteries.

Can I climb this? …Why did you wallrun? And…why are you slapping the wall? Ooh, okay, so tapping the jump button makes you do the backward run. (by this, I mean jump.) That’s good to know. (yes, especially when you say the right thing.)

I’m actually not too bad at this. Shocking. (I’m speechless too.) It’s also really pretty. Seriously. Especially for an older game. And yes, I am the type to just stare at the walls. And kill random boxes!!! …Ow. And the wall! Did that…actually hit me? I mean hurt me?

Are you made of wood? Yes.

I don’t think that actually hurt me, but seriously, stop that.

Okay, I think I should get as close to the edge as possible so it doesn’t accidentally run out. (The Prince is an it now?)

/whispers That looks so cool! Wallrun is awesome.

I prefer that now. Because I’m the fastest ladder climber in the history of…I know I’m supposed to go that way. Thanks camera. (I like looking for secrets.)

I’m guessing the checkpoints are after he says something.

Stop hitting the wall, Prince. Really? (What did the wall ever do to you?)

Now, is there anybody in here? Stealth. Stealth is a thing that exists.

Also, how is this already open? Like, the door is smashed in and there’s no rocks around (I mean catapult-type rocks) that could’ve broken it in. Am I not the first person here? (Person=invader.) I don’t actually know.

Also, apparently this vase is invincible, guys. …Oh, that’s not. Oh, ah. Right click. Oh, that’s first person view.

Oh, right, so I think that just saved. Because water does things. Also, I move around really slowly, even though…actually, it’s not that.

Stop staring at me. (I’m self-conscious.) Eeee. Hi wall.

I don’t know how long I want to play. But yeah, I found the Legendary Invincible Vase.

Patrolling people. I’ve been told that you can stealth most of Prince of Persia but I don’t actually know how. You probably have to Git Gud.

Fortunately these guys are blind because I just walked out right into the open. Okay. Well. It looks like mostly everybody’s not paying attention, so. Cutscene, they were all not paying attention. Ugh, fine.

I’m not actually that bad at the combat…I say as I put my sword away. …Would you stop putting your sword away? Thank you. (That’s your fault actually.) That being said, I do like the action. I’m just going to…jump over you, over and over again, and it’s going to look pretty.

I guess I have an epic Sheathing Thing that just happens.

Is running up here even useful? …You could grab onto that. Prince. Prince. You could totally grab onto that. Oh, you’re supposed to—but I want to…No. No. Get off. I want to see if you can…No. …Fine. Like, that’s not even that far, you could totally do that. …Oh, that is actually a problem. You have to climb this and then go up there…I’m going to fall. I’m going to fall forever. I really…Okay, that is so much easier than it looked.

Stone. Thanks for warning me. I’ll go up here. Thanks Stone. (The Stone was really an evil Stand User in disguise.) Hi, Corner. I like you. You’re so nice. …Um. How do I drop down again? Prince. Prince, help. I don’t actually remember how to drop down…well, I died.

Really, back this far? Okay…I’m not going to try to break the unbreakable pots this time. Wait, you saved slightly before the water. That’s weird. Oh, right. Cutscene.

Oh, that’s where I’m supposed to go. That’s why you should pay attention to cutscenes, you fool. Ow. Could you stop? I’m definitely not doing as well as I was, and I’m not even…I think I was just spamming the jump button. If they don’t see you coming, that makes a difference. Was that all of them? Oh, yeah, I sheathed my sword. That lets me know that’s all of them. Can I…go back and drink water again? (…why don’t I carry around a flask, or steal one? It’d be very useful. Like, maybe more than the Dagger of Time. The Water of Life. Every drop as precious as the grains of sand.) I apparently can. Okay. Would you save me after this, or do I have to cutscene again? (Have more faith in yourself.)

Can I not run up this? How am I supposed to do this? Ohhh. Oh, I think I have—oh, hey, cool. I didn’t miss my—oh, apparently I have to heal myself, though, because that hurt. Apparently I jumped up too early or something? I wasn’t supposed to do that. Apparently I’m just supposed to stay here. I thought the boulder was warning me, but apparently not.

C to drop. What is C. (what, you don’t c? …I’ll see myself out. But only because I need a drink of magic water.) …Not that one, don’t attack me please…Oh, apparently C is square. So I didn’t have to redo that section. If I press that there, do I…Oh, I do. Nice.

I don’t know if trying to be stealthy means anything, considering it cutscenes anyway, but. I’m going to try.

You turn quickly, sir. Props. Not as good as me, though.

I really like this combat.

Oh! Water! I don’t need to use it, but. Awww, it doesn’t let me, because I don’t need to use it. (Still trying to figure out the checkpoint system here.)

Really? Really? That just looks dumb. Um. I guess that’s what I’m supposed to be? I don’t actually know. Oh. Oh, yeah, it’s totally what I’m supposed to be doing. Also, if I’m going to be climbing columns, it might be better to use the D-pad.

…Did that actually hurt me? Prince. Prince, tell me these things.

These are pretty. I want these. I want all the fabrics in games (some of the Southron/Haradrim cloaks in LOTRO are fantastic, though I can’t sew at all), but I want this as a cape. Then again, my own outfit is pretty good, right now. …Is that part of my belt? …I think that is part of my belt. I don’t think I actually have skin showing around my waist for no good reason. Not that I’d mind, but you know. And I have kind of cool—*interrupted by Prince* Do you want me to start my story from here the next time we’re interrupted? YES PLEASE. …I’m two percent of the way through the game. You’re serious. I’m two percent of the way through the game. …Wait, so the other things are just checkpoints (yep) so I might wanna stop here. I dunno. I’m just going to keep going ‘cause I’m having fun, but also…