Minecraft Game Review/Commentary

[madimpossibledreamer]

Shut up, no I haven’t played Minecraft before. I’ve watched a bit of it,
namely the Naka one I rec’d plus a few Bleach mods. Here goes.

Black screen. That bodes well.

…what would it use network features for?

This is the best terms agreement I’ve ever read. Yes I read those (well,
skim, anyway). You never know when someone’s going to sneak in a ‘you
agree to give up your soul for eternity’ clause.

Like, legit, whoever wrote this cared that people could actually understand
it and is giving life advice sometimes. Who are these people and why can’t
they also write textbooks?

“Basically, don’t be ridiculous and we won’t.” Okay, I have never before
been won over by a terms use agreement. Thanks, Mojang AB, Maria Skolgata
83, and SE-11853. Which, last person, if you’re a robot, you just made
this 10x cooler.

“Stop being reasonable, this is the internet.” Okay, game, you’re sending
mixed messages (glances upward)

…I may have scrolled through the instructions too fast. We’ll see if I die
due to creeper

Okay, cool, you *can* change the sensitivity so you don’t make yourself
motionsick. I have serious issues with that in practically every game in
which I can change the camera. SWL is the worst with it because it resets
it every time you play.

Necesito…comer??? Hey, I remember some Spanish!

Hello there, sheep. Sorry, I’m taking your grass…what can I eat besides
sheep again?

…this is a tuturiel?

…what was that crash sound? It didn’t sound friendly…..

Now I’m paranoid.

Wait. No that’s my health, not my hunger.

…come on, let me be a responsible forester and replant the tree I just
murdered.

…whoops. I didn’t mean to make 2 crafting tables.

…waaaait fireworks? What.

Hahahahahahaha you cannot stop the responsible forester!!!

In the rain.

…uhhh

Thanks game where the blank is the furnace in the menuuuuuuuuuu

I don’t see the icon. It’s sad, but I think it’s time for…internet help.

…thanks youtube. It’s kind of silly, but.

Ooooohhhh you’re supposed to use the left stick here. I just…up and down,
up and down arrows, obvious. Duuurrrr

Um, hello world. How did I 3rd person.

Uhhhh okay now my character is just having a staring contest with me and
it’s getting creepy.

It doesn’t let me just walk off teeny tiny ledges. I have to jump.
#oldmanezioproblems

That sheep was just…spinning in circles. Uuhhh you okay there mr sheep?

…you know, I think I went through night and didn’t die. Imma make this
house prettyyyyy

…waaaait

That’s a countdown

Uhhh

Should I worry?

Ooooh you only get to play 15 minutes in game. Okay.

I won’t derp around this time

Now that I know this is timed I’m no longer the responsible forester

Now with extra hugs. Man, I needed that.

It wasn’t the perfect house, but it looked okay. I liked the stripped logs.

Also I couldn’t figure out how to tame doggie, and there was a horse!
HORSE! Not a hol one though. And a skeleton that pretended he was a tree
to lure me in. That almost got me.

Final verdict: Kind of a calming game, like Passpartout. I didn’t think
I’d be into the actual normal game, just kinda interested in all the extras
that people make for it like the Bleach mod, but I could be on board with
house-building (but then I’m the one that decked out my entire house in
LOTRO and maaaaan the options. Like, you can change where things are
situated, so they’re not stuck in a fixed place, so you can make it look
like an actual *house* that’s lived in and it’s great. But this isn’t
lotro, it’s Minecraft, though I can see where you might get confused there).
I did take a few screenshots so if I’m paying attention at all when I post
this, I’ll add those. Same for the Doc.

Outside of the house.  ...I accidentally added two doors, but it's fine.

Not a Hol Horse.

Inside of the house (which looks slightly better than the outside)

Player Character staring at the camera creepily.

Hey look, the photos finally posted!!