Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Iron Man Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: Xander refuses to be a part of this.
Word Count: 520
Rating: Gen, slight language
It’s taking everything Xander has to stay awake. He knows he probably should be saying something, since everyone’s chewing Buffy out (yeah, and sometimes people have to make the best decision of all possible shitty options, he gets that in a way Cap wouldn’t), but he’s about to pass out and trying very hard not to appear like he’s about to pass out.
“Xander?” It’s Buffy, and her voice is shaking.
Oh, crap. She’d figured it—oh, wait, no, she’s hugging herself, feeling defensive. She’s actually looking for input.
“Don’t look at me,” he manages. He takes a deep breath, shakes his head slightly (not too hard, that’ll just make the dizziness worse, but a little will wake him up…probably). “All of you, don’t you dare try to use me in whatever mind games you’re playing. I’m out. Buffy and Spike saved my life.”
“You wouldn’t have gotten hurt if it wasn’t for Buffy!” Willow blurts out, and he glares, and oh, hey, positive, his glare is more effective when it’s just one eye. Success.
“Nope,” he corrects, quiet and calm and terrible. Like Caleb—no, don’t think that, never think that. “I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if it wasn’t for Caleb.” He says the name, and everyone flinches, and is this a Voldemort situation? Because he will keep saying it if that’s what it takes. “I’ve run the simulations over and over and over.” His voice cracks a little on the last word, but really, he’s more ticked than scared at the moment. “There’s nothing I could’ve done.” Whoops, he sounds a little hysterical on that last word, but then, that’s what they’re asking for, isn’t it? For him to speak about his experience, from the eye of the beholder? “Predictions need data. I wouldn’t have thought that Caleb could stop all my systems. It’s never happened before.” He feels like babbling aimlessly, but shrugs off the urge. “There’s a one hundred percent chance I would’ve run into the guy at some point, him being the corporeal leader of the opposing forces and all. I figured I’d have a higher chance of beating the guy than any of you. Would’ve put the odds at 89%, before this whole eye thing went down.”
Okay, weird as it is to say, enough talking about himself. “Which of us is thinking clearly, huh? We’re all afraid. If we’re being honest, even I’m not being completely rational, and I’m the one thinking clearly enough to realize what’s happening here.” He holds up his hands, gesturing at them all theatrically. “The First’s trying to break up the band, y’all.” He sighs. “And from where I’m standing, that little strategy worked perfectly.” Civil War was a really cool idea, until you actually go and live through the thing. He stands. “Lemme know how the whole teamwork thing works out. I’ll be in my lab building a better mousetrap.”
He’s gone before any of them can say anything. Which doesn’t really prove his teamwork point, but hey. He passed out somewhere midflight, and ending up unconscious in the living room really would’ve hurt his point.